View high resolution

(914): DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD

View high resolution

(570): I got turned off after he said, “i can see us in the future…me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas.”

View high resolution

(708): I think I died last night.

(414): Yeah, you got carried home

View high resolution

(779): I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs

View high resolution

(641): We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a massive snow cock in his yard

View high resolution

(845): I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I’m planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don’t trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming “I AM SPARTA!” You’ll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears

View high resolution

(248): THIS ISN’T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK

(262): And all I ask is the occasional “welcome home from work” blowjob…..and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry

View high resolution

(289): If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.